i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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