ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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