I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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