dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
