soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
