They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize