you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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