they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
