im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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