omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize