Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
