playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
