Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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