It's like God shit irony all over that family
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
