Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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