it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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