got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
