I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
