I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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