i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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