Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
