Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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