We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize