He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
