I can text with my tongue
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
