I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Terrible idea I love it
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
