is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
if only i could text you this smell
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize