Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
