are you so shy because you have an std?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My dad just said "fuck circus"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
