I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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