I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
