I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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