addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
