True but thats because hes a fetus.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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