I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
