More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you traded sex for a burrito?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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