im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
