apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
