Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
