Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
