Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
