Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
