that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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