its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize