Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
