Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize