If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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