when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
