shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
