Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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