fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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