im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
This toilet bowl is my home.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
