I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Where is the hickey?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
