I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
