I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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