My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
