Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
