Where did you get a picture of my penis
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
