not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
