He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
