At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
