idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
