i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
