Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
