forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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