i jhust puked up my retainher.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
