Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
