i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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