So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
sex in a hospital.. check
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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